Late Night Thoughts

• New Job Fears - The last couple weeks have been busy. A job I was surprisingly interested in was offered to me. It was a long process... long story short, I feel really humbled and blessed. I expected to be unemployed by now, hoping to just take some time off to enjoy the rest of my youth. However, in those weeks of interviews, I had a lot to think about life, finances, and goals. This job is still in line with my future goals, offers legit pay, and I'm pleased to say it also offers some international travel. I've always wanted to work abroad. I am blessed. But my biggest worry lingers - what if I don't like it? My insecurities will always haunt me.
  
  I tell you this though. I didn't get that job, until after practically begging for a 3rd round of interviews. After weeks of thoughts and realizations. God works because He didn't give me the job in the beginning when I was ungrateful and demanding. Things seriously magically fell in together at the last second possible, and I know it all wasn't by chance or my own aptitude.
  
  
• 9/11 - I was really disappointed to hear that kids of the new generation no nothing about 9/11. The disappointment isn't because of the realization that I'm freaking old and historic (maybe a little). But it's the fact that, they can't emotionally fathom the depth of such a traumatic event in US history. I was listening to "60 Minutes" the other day, and was so moved by interviews of the first responders to the 9/11 plane crashes. I remember a man said he blatantly lied to a woman that they were going to get out just fine while trying to comfort her. In reality, he said that all he could think of was that they were going to die now, and that if she weren't there, he was going to crawl into a fetal position and cry. And then he started sobbing as he relived this moment. I started crying too, at the raw honesty and vulnerability of his humanity. There was a lot of mourning in those discussions, still lingering 10 years after first plane crashed into the twin towers. But dare I say, I also felt a glimmer of hope in mankind in those stories... the acts of 9/11 responders were awe-inspiring and heroic - reminding me not to lose faith in community and society. Those that died sacrificing their lives to save others... Those that are still suffering due to illnesses from digging in the rubble... I still can't believe their first reaction was to save others and not themselves. I just hope and pray I would react the same given a similar situation. Sometimes I think, if all people would go through and see such traumatic events... If we could all truly see how flimsy our lives are and worthless it is to save up our bodies and treasures for ourselves... Or how grand our lives become when used for each other... We'd see the world as big as it is. We'd stop bickering about stupid, petty things and learn to love, appreciate, and nurture those around us.
  
  
• 2:16am - Oh my crap, it is freaking 2am.